One thing that I have learned is just how important it is for people to believe and feel like they are somebody in the world, that they have an intrinsic worth that can be recognized by others, or at least by certain others. Our need to feel like we posses a unique inner value in relation to those who matter to us reminds us that human nature is social, or as I like to say it, relational. In one way or another, through a history of formative relationships and personal endeavor, one develops a sense of self that is more or less both authentically felt and reliably available for meeting the personal and social challenges in one’s life.
The key here is “more or less” because nothing is ever complete or exactly where we want it to be. We “know” when something is off or not working quite right. We sense it in how we feel in particular settings, and sometimes, perhaps especially, in how we feel with significant others. These are important and meaningful feelings and will help direct the course of therapy.
With this in mind I will join you in a collaborative exploration of your pertinent life issues and how they play out in your relations with others. This will help you to more directly access meanings of your own perceptions and feelings and to better appreciate the emotional complexities of those who matter to you. Thus with a larger capacity for self and other understanding you will become more confident and effective in your interactions with others. As you have more positive interactions with significant others in your life you will at the same time be changing deep seated relationship patterns into the direction of more mutual noticing and caring for one another.
Whether you choose to work with me on particular issues in individual therapy, as a couple committed to developing and maintaining a more healthy and intimate relationship, or as someone who would benefit from the interactive learning and confidence building in a facilitated group, further developing your sense of self in relation to others will lead naturally to a healing of old wounds and a more clear and centered sense of self in the world.
“People are more alike than otherwise”
Harry Stack Sullivan